3 Self Compassionate Ways to Create New Year’s Resolutions that Actually Stick

I love setting New Year’s resolutions each year. It’s a beautiful time to reflect on the year behind - what worked, what did not work, and what intentions we want to set to bring into the next year.

What I don’t love to see is industries (particularly health) campaigning off people’s insecurities to MAKE money (e.g. go to the gym, lose weight), as if this is the answer to the deep-rooted stuff. These spaces are often not coming from a place of getting to know your why, or creating a life from self-compassion and alignment.

Here are my three tips to create resolutions that align with self-compassion, that are sustainable, and most importantly, align with who YOU are.

Tip 1: Values - Clarify Them.

So many people jump into resolutions from a place of inadequacy, and make change from this space. This doesn’t work. So often we set a goal (e.g., I want to lose 10 kg this year and look hot on my Instagram), yet we aren’t clear on the why.
When we get clear on the why and our values, the goals can flow naturally - creating sustainable goals. If we aren’t clear on the why, often we fail to execute the plan or lose motivation easily.

Values are the things that matter most to us and make us, us. It helps guide how we want to live, the kind of people we want to be, and the relationships we have. For example, if you do have a goal to go to the gym more, the value could be ‘I value my health and wellbeing’. If you want to study, your value could be knowledge and information. If you want to take up volunteering, your value could be community or helping. Could be anything, as it’s unique to you.

Getting clear on your values will allow your goals to make more sense. These help goals to not be things to fail/ or win at - but rather a way of living.

2. Set Realistic Goals.

Big goals without self-kindness don’t work. Did you know - as humans, we are mammals - meaning we respond best to warmth, love and care? We do better with kindness and self-compassion - not criticism and beating ourselves with a stick long-term. If our value is health and well-being, and we set our goal to go to the gym 6x a week, when we haven’t been in 6 months, this could lead to burnout (it’s a lot on the body) and then a cycle of ‘I can’t do this, or make a change’. Making it harder to set goals in the long term. Instead, make the goal small. and build from there. Ask yourself, is this built in a desire to show myself self-compassion and to care for me?

Perhaps, instead, make the goal 1-2x a week and build from there so it can become pat of your routine. Change is slower, but likely to stick. This creates sustainable goals.

3. Do monthly self-check ins (& make it fun).

Make a ritual, self-date, whatever you want to call it, to reflect. Bring a journal, go out for coffee, or light your favourite candle and gently review.
How are my goals going?
Make sure this is done with a lot of self-compassion - and be mindful of the inner critic here taking over.
If you weren’t able to reach your goal, ask yourself with curiosity, what worked?
what dind’t work? what barriers got in the way?
Is it the right time?
Can I review in a few months?
Do I need more support with this?

Set yourself a mantra:
No matter how my goals go, I care about myself - uncondtionally.

Hope this helps!

Disclaimer: This isn’t a replacement for professional therapy. If you want tailored support, reach out, I would love to hear from you. Enquriy form here -> https://www.catherinehannahtherapies.com.au/connect